Why Talking about Money is difficult:
Often, the conversations surrounding money, though born out of necessity, never materialize. Families usually cower at the mere thought of talking about money. Learning how to talk about money doesn’t have to be intimidating.
Books that can help
Reading books or playing games on money and couples can help give you better insight into starting to talk about money with your spouse or partner. Some books that are worth your consideration can be found here:
Money Talks: The Ultimate Couple’s Guide to Communicating about Money by Talaat and Tai McNeely
Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner by David Bach
Money Games-Debt Freedon for Couples: Make a Game out of Your Money Goals and Reach Financial Freedom Together! by Heidi Ifland Nash
When we initiate these conversations about money, we must be aware that everyone doesn’t come from the same background, where money talks and emotions are the same.
For some, discussing, for instance, how much we are paid, how much we owe, what assets and liabilities we have, how much we have or have not saved, and our credit scores are considered improper. You want to help yourself and your partner move beyond this ideology.
For others, it’s a matter of not knowing how to talk about money or not realizing the need to have such discussions. Think of how often you have heard or experienced situations where the family land or assets are seemingly squandered or happ haphazardly lost or drained.
The assumption is that a younger generation just sold the land or stock because they were greedy for money. They didn’t care about what their family may have gone through or how hard they had to work for it.
However, the problem is often that they need a frame of reference for handling financial situations because they were never taught.
The result is that individuals grow up with no concept of managing their finances, much less the finances of loved ones who may need them to do so at some point in life.
Money Talks are Essential for Growth
Recently, I had the chance to convince a family member that she should use a high-interest-rate savings account. She didn’t know such an account existed and assumed that her bank was giving her the best they could.
This was a great segway into having other personal finance conversations with her that may have seemed awkward in the past.
Financial conversations are essential when, for instance, you are the oldest of your siblings or sandwiched between caring for children and aging parents. Or when you and your spouse can’t see eye to eye about managing income.
For many, you have already felt the pressure of being there for the family when life does the things it does to us all. You know, those unexpected and expected things in life.
Today, think about an awkward financial conversation you may need to have with a friend or loved one.
Today, learn how to talk about money using five steps to start the money talk.
1. Think about the situation before opening the topic with the other person. Be sure of your intentions first. Consider how the topic makes you feel and get those feelings out of your way first. This way, you are more likely to be calm and focused before approaching the other person or persons.
2. Find a window of opportunity to invite the conversation. Think of this as a 1st attempt. Use your experiences to open the door to a gentle talk about the subject.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Yes, some money conversations are needed, but the 1st conversation doesn’t require you to be too pushy or be a turnoff. This may be the time to invite some fun to lift the heaviness these talks can carry.
4. Be clear about your concerns or questions. Remember not to come off as a know-it-all because who likes that? You want to be welcome, not a roadblock, to this and, hopefully, future talks about the subject.
5. Make it quick the first time around. Use some finesse to make the other person feel that they are in control of accepting this talk with you and, therefore, have the right not to talk to you.
REMEMBER: You are working to cultivate a good relationship in money conversations, whether the topics are challenging, sad, or invigorating.
Leap today and begin building your strategy for having the practical money talks.
If you need more information on how to talk with a parent or older family members regarding money scams that target older individuals, you can find solid information that will be helpful to older age groups at https://www.ncoa.org/article/top-5-financial-scams-targeting-older-adults
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